Today's featured daily humor:
So I just did possibly the dumbest thing I've probably ever done in my life... I was having a smoke. It's finally started to feel like Fall in my area, so I had one of my old, ratty ass hoodies on. And when I went to light my cigarette, I caught the sleeve on fire (torch lighter). I didn't notice right away, but as it started to spread, I freaked out and tried smacking it out with my other hand. And caught that sleeve on fire. So now I've got both sleeves on fire, and starting to spread. And I there were probably a few solutions, but I was just kinda freaking out in the moment thinking "I can't even take it off, BOTH my arms are on fire!" so instead I just kinda started flailing around like an idiot trying to get it to go out. Which naturally just made it worse. So in a panic, I ran into the nearest building for help which was the bank I just dropped a deposit at. I run in looking for help, but before I can get a freaking word out two security guards tackled my ass to the ground and damn near threw me out of the building. Because you can't bring firearms into a bank.