Today's featured daily humor:
So my wife and I started our own punk band and I wrote these lyrics for it. The song turned into quite the dad joke by the last line. It's called "Urination Calculations" Nobody told me getting old would be like this Always having to plan where i can take a piss Memorizing rest areas and all exits with a truck stop Peeing in the bushes and having to watch for over zealous cops (Chorus) The sudden urgent urge to go can arrive in an instant Locate every restroom and time the walking distance Don't piss your pants and face social humiliation Have a plan and make sure you've made your urination calculations On a road trip you gotta make sure you have an empty bottle Holding it until it hurts in traffic can be quite the debacle Just be aware that chances of success are minimal at best. Just get it on with it and keep the memories repressed (Chorus) Don't drink too much caffeine like coffee and red bull Your bladder cant take it and won't signal until it's overfull Im not a doctor, i just speak from my own experience I used to think this shit was funny but stopped laughing because now its serious. Chorus) I know I'm only in my forties and this is just the beginning Im seeking out advice because my world keeps spinning I've asked older people what to do and how to make this end They just look me dead in the eyes and say well, depends (Chorus)