Today's featured daily humor:
Boy do I need to work on my text game. I met a gal online the other day, and it was going great: she was texting me all and and smoochy poo ... at least until she came over for dinner. She took one look at my place, scoffed, and headed out. "What's the problem?" I beseeched her. "Like you don't know!" she said. "I skipped lunch today after you promised me the biggest duck I'd ever see in my whole life."