Today's featured daily humor:
3 guys get caught poaching animals in the kings courtyard. The guys are brought before the king to be punished. King says "as your punishment, I want you to go back out into the courtyard and bring me whatever fruit you can find. The guys look at eachother. Easy enough. They get going. Some time passes, and the first guy comes back with 3 apples. The king says "shove all of the apples you found up your ass. If you move, you'll be executed. The guy is scared, but having no choice, proceeds. He manages to get the first one in, but during the second, he winces. SLICE. The executioner lobs his head off. Now the Second guy returns with some berries. Maybe 10. Same deal as before, so the guy gets going. He's on a roll. He's got 7 in there. 8,9, there's one left and then ,out of nowhere, the guy drops to his knees and begins laughing hysterically. The king is perplexed, but SLICE. The executioner cuts his head off. Now the first guy and the second guy meet up in the after life. First guy goes "bro what happened!? I was watching you I thought for sure you had it, what the hell did you do that for?" Second guy says "Maaaan I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples"