Today's featured daily humor:
So a desperate time traveler is searching for more gold to power his time machine... However, the only source he thinks he can reliably gather is in Egypt, specifically by melting down the sarcophagus of Tutankhamun. He asks Albert Einstein of all people for help on how to exploit time travel. Albert exclaims, "My god, thank you for coming back for me. I was just a brain in a jar after I died, you've resurrected me! Please take me with you, I can't go back! Please!". The exasperated traveler hastily says, "Alright, fine, but we've got to hurry." Einstein finds a comfortable seat and posits deeply on how to attain more gold: "Ok, I surmise we can take advantage of time sensitive duplication. So long as we travel back in time to King Tuts' tomb no more than 3 times, we can farm the gold from the sarcophagus without any ramifications to space-time". The now sweating time traveler worriedly asks, "and what if we go back a 4th time?" to which Einstein warns, "We will be trapped there forever." Taking a deep gulp, the traveler switches the clock back once, heaves out the sarcophagus, and returns to the machine. But that was a measly chunk of change; he needed more, especially if he was to return Einstein to his own time. A second time, he winds the clock back. What do you know? It worked: he can farm to his heart's content. And a third - this time it only entices the traveler to come back for more, but before he can, Albert grips his arm, shaking. "Please, you cannot be serious, after what I told you? I beg you, you do not know what you're doing! You are messing with the fabric of reality!", Einstein entreats. But alas, the traveler was too tempted by the prospect of infinite gold. He swiftly turns on his whirring machine and shrugs off the anxious scientist's hand as he races to the tomb. Einstein reluctantly follows. To his dismay, the traveler is greeted with a completely empty tomb. No sarcophagus, nothing. Albert Einstein walks up to the sullen traveler, sadly announcing with a gentle heart: "You're out of Tuts. I'm out of time. But I'm out of my head when you're not around."