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  • I am sending my cat off to learn how to do helpful things....

  • I am sick of long winded fables of brave knights....

  • I am totally enthralled with the new Netflix documentary on beavers....

  • I applied for a job at the zoo as a cute little Australian bear....

  • I applied for a new job, filling in for a dwarf who is currently on maternity leave ....

  • I asked a cannibal why he was eating a human....

  • I asked a chicken what I should have for lunch....

  • I asked a guy at the pet store if they had any aquatic salamanders....

  • I asked a librarian if she had a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat....

  • I asked a Lion what it was doing in my wardrobe....

  • I asked a very serious, emotionless tree what......

  • I asked a zombie reanimator out on a......

  • I asked dad to explain what dandruff is....

  • I asked my dad how he poaches an......

  • I asked my dad if we could have pets, and he said no....

  • I asked my dog "what's seven minus seven?...

  • I asked my dog what's 2-2?...

  • I asked my dog what's 7 minus 7......

  • I asked my friend why he turned up to my fancy dress party as a naked horseman with a spear....

  • I asked my grandfather to make the same......

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