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  • I saw the neighbor kid dressed up as a Japanese assassin doing moves in the yard....

  • I saw this girl with tattoos of a......

  • I scolded my son for stopping short while he was driving....

  • I showed my son one of the two person stitches on Tik Tok where they sing sea shanties....

  • I slept like a baby last night....

  • I specialize in baby trains......

  • I spent a lot of my youth playing......

  • I started to make a joke about my......

  • I stole my brother's motorbike's front wheel....

  • I stopped my toddler from pulling vines off the house....

  • I taught a block of Limestone to play guitar....

  • I taught my kid to speed read today....

  • i taught my kids about democracy tonight by......

  • I taught my son the phrase, "Je ne......

  • I tell my kids that it's easy to make fun of me when I'm missing half of my head....

  • I think I got dad joked by my......

  • I think i just made my first dad......

  • I think I won Christmas......

  • I think my girlfriend is a 10 but......

  • I think someone else has been sleeping in my bed, but it's tough to find evidence....

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