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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford....
I want to make a good dad joke about a ghost, I am stumped, a cloth, the dark....
I wanted to be like Super Mario when......
I wanted to know what my future dad jokes would be like....
I wanted to learn to drive a stick......
I wanted to name our son James, but my wife said it was a little off....
I was a famous pianist......
I was a man in a womans body....
I was born after Colin Firth......
I was born in an apartment building on the 3rd floor....
I was born with 5 dicks....
I was building a sandcastle with my grandpa....
I was Captain Jack Sparrow made to walk the plank when he was a child?...
I was chilling out at home with the family, then out of nowhere....
I was confused why my wife started calling me "foreigner" after the birth of our fourth kid....
I was cooking dinner with one of my......
I was dropped as a baby......
I was eating Chipotle with my 3-year-old daughter and asked her, "What did the sour cream say to the guacamole?...
I was eating french fries......
I was going to tell a dead baby joke....
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