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  • I almost burned my house down cooking dinner......

  • I almost drowned in my muesli this morning......

  • I always serve my guests dinner on a plate with my name written on it....

  • I always serve porridge with a handful of......

  • I always use the same pencil to write all my jokes, but my wife took it to write all her recipes....

  • I asked an elderly man why he was......

  • I asked my Tunisian friend what made their......

  • I asked the butcher for a kilo of sausages....

  • I ate a poisoned ball of chickpeas....

  • I ate the last piece of flan that......

  • I boiled my funny bone....

  • I bought an infrared thermometer for my bbq......

  • I bought some evaporated milk for cooking....

  • I break down and cry when I eat......

  • I brought a spoon to my cooking class last night and I gotta tell ya....

  • I burned 2000 calories today....

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza....

  • I came up with a new dish for......

  • I came up with a new recipe for cooking pink salmon that uses vanilla extract....

  • I can finally enjoy Italian food after getting food poisoning at a restaurant....

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