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  • I must have used bad eggs in my omelette....

  • I name all my steaks after my wife....

  • I need jokes about food......

  • I once dated a baker....

  • I once knew a guy who was obsessed with baking pies and arranging them in columns....

  • I once met a Jehovah's Witness who cooked meth in his spare time....

  • I ordered one of those "meal kits" where they send you the ingredients and you cook the meal....

  • I prefer to eat my pancakes raw......

  • I prepared my wife a roast beef dinner but she complained it was raw and needed to be roasted longer....

  • I really regret pouring baked beans into my......

  • I really wanted to do something easy to pass the time, so I shot fish in a barrel....

  • I recently found out garbanzo beans and chick peas are the same thing....

  • I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....

  • I said out loud "a solid yellow fatty......

  • I sat front row at a comedy club for cannibals....

  • I saw a woman baking......

  • I served some jerk chicken today......

  • I share corn on the cob loudly ....

  • I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once....

  • I spent all my life savings on pasta....

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