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I must have used bad eggs in my omelette....
I name all my steaks after my wife....
I need jokes about food......
I once dated a baker....
I once knew a guy who was obsessed with baking pies and arranging them in columns....
I once met a Jehovah's Witness who cooked meth in his spare time....
I ordered one of those "meal kits" where they send you the ingredients and you cook the meal....
I prefer to eat my pancakes raw......
I prepared my wife a roast beef dinner but she complained it was raw and needed to be roasted longer....
I really regret pouring baked beans into my......
I really wanted to do something easy to pass the time, so I shot fish in a barrel....
I recently found out garbanzo beans and chick peas are the same thing....
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack....
I said out loud "a solid yellow fatty......
I sat front row at a comedy club for cannibals....
I saw a woman baking......
I served some jerk chicken today......
I share corn on the cob loudly ....
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once....
I spent all my life savings on pasta....
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