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  • I confessed to my wife that I get aroused by my reflection in the mirror....

  • I considered grilling my cereal this morning, but decided against it....

  • I could have been more careful when I wished for a newborn with superpowers....

  • I could have sworn i have heard several jokes about Foreigner here....

  • I could never be a kleptomania victim...

  • I could never be an undertaker....

  • I could tell you a joke about paper......

  • I could walk through this screen door right now....

  • I couldn't believe the line at the movie theater for the new Barbie movie!...

  • I couldn't find the Harlequin Romances section at the library....

  • I couldn't find the obituaries in the newspaper......

  • I couldn't find the tool I use to flatten down the gravel in my walkway, and pitched an absolute fit....

  • I couldn't get enough of The Game of Thrones....

  • I couldn't help it......

  • I couldn't remember how many castle turrets I......

  • I couldn't remember if my Christmas lights were still up....

  • I couldn't resist......

  • I couldn't stop belting out "Jesus, Take the Wheel" at work today....

  • I couldn't stop laughing at how we shared appetizers at dinner!...

  • I couldn't write an ending to my comic book, no matter how hard I tried to think of one....

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