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  • I couldnt believe the river in Egypt was......

  • I created a new dog breed, standard poodle......

  • I cried when my daughter gave me my 50th birthday card....

  • I Cup - seven year old caught me off guard and I couldn't be happier....

  • I dad joked a family on a delivery, and got dad joked in return!...

  • I dated a cross eyed woman....

  • I dated a girl who tried to convince me that deep-freezing my penis was "sexy"....

  • I dated a girl who worked at Costco......

  • I dated a Swiss girl, but broke up with her after visiting her hometown....

  • I dated a woman who was afraid that she owned so many apartments properties....

  • I decided to buy a bra to cheer me up....

  • I decided to free my imaginary horse, but then he went crazy....

  • I decided to learn braile from a new......

  • I despise all these jokes about the titanic sub....

  • I devoured an entire wheel of Swiss cheese today....

  • I did a double take when I saw......

  • I did an experiment....

  • I did let that sink in, but it abused my hospitality....

  • I didn't believe the tales of a mythical gorgon that could turn you in a random animal part....

  • I didn't do too well in the Navy....

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