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  • "Doctor, I keep imagining that I'm a goat!...

  • "Donner, party of three!...

  • "For my birthday," I told my wife, "I don't know whether I want a new entrance for our home or to meet my favourite bullfighter....

  • "Give it to me!...

  • "Here's my first ever football award," said my dad....

  • "Hey did you hear Terry died"......

  • "Holmes"!...

  • "How you feeling after the vasectomy Bob?...

  • "I don't trust those trees....

  • "I feel like a kid again!...

  • "I just came across my wife's Tinder profile and I'm so angry about her lies....

  • "I saw a bear kill a mose pretty close to me....

  • "I saw a stray cat earlier," said my dad....

  • "I see" said the blind man......

  • "I told my wife she should embrace...

  • "I'm not very good at explaining things," said my son....

  • "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing....

  • "I'm the least prideful person I've ever met"......

  • "If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?...

  • "If you have bare feet you have to put on shoes....

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