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  • I told my wife that we should put a tepee in our backyard with colored lights....

  • I told my wife, 'There's a song that......

  • I told my wife....

  • I told myself I would pronounce the name of my Thai tourist destination correctly, and practiced and practiced....

  • I told ten puns to try and make my children laugh, but....

  • I told the doctor it felt like I had 100 of those Irish line dancers pounding away in my chest....

  • I told the judge I couldn't breathe......

  • I told the judge my wife suffocated me......

  • I told the judge my wife tried to......

  • I told the kangaroo a joke and she laughed real hard....

  • I told the wife that I didn't have time to jog this morning....

  • I told this attractive woman that I thought she was beautiful and she called me a sexist....

  • I told this joke the day before my......

  • I told you to get dressed ....

  • I tood my wife that she needs to......

  • I took a crap in my Honda the other day....

  • I took a dump at the airport......

  • I took a lady friend to Vermont to......

  • I took a piss in the playing area of some child....

  • I took a pole and found that....

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