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  • I was hoping to win a radio competition for my wife....

  • I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine....

  • I was in a 80's pop-goth band called The Prevention....

  • I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, "Do you mind if I put some music on?...

  • I was in France last week and they......

  • I was in Hong Kong......

  • I was in the "cheap seats" at the Rodeo and I began to heckle the people in front because they were getting splashed by mud....

  • I was in the middle of my annual......

  • I was in touch with my inner self......

  • I was infuriated to find my two-year-old daughter had placed my Game Boy in a bowl of ice cubes....

  • I was invited to a party....

  • I was invited to tell dad jokes at......

  • I was Jewish, but gave that up....

  • I was jumped by three huge guys in......

  • I was just broken up with by the......

  • I was just complaining that mosquitoes suck....

  • I was just in the car with my kid....

  • I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up....

  • I was kicked out of the acting school......

  • I was kicked out of the library for throwing a fit after they refused to show me and my kids tiny trout and tiny bass....

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