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  • Today my kids called me a virgin for......

  • Today my mom told me that one of the stove burners is getting too hot and to watch out when cooking....

  • today my son asked me, "can i have a book mark?...

  • Today my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach....

  • Today some kid picked a fight with me in the Art Gallery....

  • Today someone asked me if I needed help......

  • Today was a bad day....

  • Today was my son's first day of high school so he asked me for fatherly wisdom....

  • Today was the worst day of my life....

  • Today, during a session my patient said, "I'm not sure what to talk about....

  • Today, my 11-year-old son asked, "Can I have a bookmark?...

  • Today, my coworker told me they like Poison....

  • Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?...

  • Today's a perfect day......

  • Today's appellate ruling in Trump's bond made me realize our justice system is crying....

  • Told a dad joke to a boy he......

  • Told my 6 year old that we have to get the leaves off the patio....

  • Told my dad I don't feel well....

  • Told my dad I was going to take......

  • Told my whole life story to the calendars yesterday....

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