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I identify as paper......
I illegally downloaded a movie when I...
I illegally downloaded music in Jamaica....
I invented a new word....
I invited a hoarder to my house party, but I think he's too busy to attend....
I joined the Tourette's society last week....
I just ate 288 sunflower seeds....
I just ate a frozen apple....
I just bought a thesaurus, and got home to find out the pages are all blank!...
I just bought the best vacuum cleaner in......
I just bought the worst thesaurus....
I just burnt my Hawaiian pizza....
I just finished building a new computer and......
I just finished hiking pole to pole!...
I just found a great website to get sausage online!...
I just found out that "Aaargh!...
I just found out that there is a name for when you can't sleep at night so you just eat instead....
I just got a pet termite....
I just got a tattoo on my left butt cheek....
I just got a vasectomy for half...
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