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I almost got arrested for 'stealing' from an art gallery....
I almost got in a wreck at lunch....
I always ask rude people where they get off....
I always get looked at strange when I don't know what LGBT means....
I always hated the Jolly Green Giant....
I always keep stepping in dog poop and it annoying....
I always lose the soap in the bath......
I always use the toilet on the clock......
I always wanted the number plate on my car to be personalised....
I am a human!...
I am absolutely obsessed with buckets!...
I am but a smelly bloke who...
I am disgusted everytime I happen upon a battery charging....
I am disgusted whenever I happen upon a charging battery....
I am gonna make a joke about kleptomaniacs......
I am having hard time deciding whether I should throw away my old pillow....
I am sick of long winded fables of brave knights....
I am so broke....
I answered the door to the postman in my underwear....
I apologize in advance for this joke....
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