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  • The last few weeks all my meals have been shellfish, and I need to eat them while doing the backfloat in my pool....

  • The lemon is a hybrid between a citron and a lime....

  • The local bakery was having a sale and every cake was being sold for 1 except for one....

  • The local grocery store just announced today that......

  • The main ingredient in a healthy Christian dinner......

  • the man at the butcher shop told me......

  • The man who invented halls lozenges died......

  • The MI5 office Christmas party doesn't allow mince pies on the premises....

  • The moron at Denny's....

  • The new chef refuses to put chicory in his salad....

  • The Oceangate passengers passing away is a tragedy....

  • The other day I made some really good homemade Mac and cheese for dinner....

  • The other day I saw a baguette in a cage....

  • The other day, I was at Walmart....

  • The Pizza King......

  • The police arrested two men, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fire crackers....

  • The pregnant woman....

  • The Prime Minister of the UK tried Sambuca for the first time and couldn't quite work what flavour he could taste....

  • The restaurant served me watery spaghetti......

  • The scariest part of the supermarket is where the Corn Flakes and Rice Pops are....

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