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  • I never understood why a group of fish is called a "school"....

  • I never understood why people wear black clothes......

  • I never understood why the French specify it as Waterloo?...

  • I no longer see my wife and kids....

  • I no longer see my wife and kids....

  • I once competed in the National Viagra Eating......

  • I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition....

  • I once submitted ten puns to a pun......

  • I once took a mime to court and won....

  • I once tried to live on the roof of a museum....

  • I once tried to tell my mailman a joke about unpostmarked mail....

  • I ordered a book called "How to scam people"....

  • I ordered this book online titled "How To......

  • I picked up a U2 version of Monopoly at a yard sale....

  • I pirated a video game yesterday......

  • I play mushroom games with my kids....

  • I played a banger but my wife didn't like it....

  • I played a prank on My friend the other day by taking all the lamps in his house....

  • I plotting to try and steal the pyramids....

  • I programmed a new pirates game....

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