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  • I wanted to tell my friend a joke......

  • I wanted to tell wife I'd clean the house....

  • I wanted to tell you guys a joke......

  • I was a professional poker player till I broke my arm....

  • I was about to make a joke about Sodium....

  • I was about to put my card into the machine to pay for my blow up doll....

  • I was addicted to the hockey pockey......

  • I was arrested for playing Pokemon Go at......

  • I was asked to walk into a bar....

  • I was at the fairground yesterday, went on the hook-a-duck stall and won a three-day countdown timer....

  • I was at the park wondering why this......

  • I was at the pub last night & a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me....

  • I was at Wal-Mart and saw a woman......

  • I was blowing up a balloon and accidentally let it go....

  • I was booing the local team when some guy asked me, "You're not a fan?...

  • I was building a sandcastle with my grandpa....

  • I was finally able to take my crush into my bedroom....

  • I was given the opportunity to participate in the punt, pass and kick competition....

  • I was going to buy a Matchbox 20......

  • I was going to give archery a shot....

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