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  • I was at a garage sale yesterday with my daughter....

  • I was at my friend's house....

  • I was at the library when I...

  • I was bicycling downtown......

  • I was booing the local team when some guy asked me, "You're not a fan?...

  • I was browsing at the tuxedo store, and the owner kept hovering over me, so I told him to go away....

  • I was buying an apartment from a couple that took up an entire floor....

  • I was christmas caroling at the psychiatric ward......

  • I was convinced to join a dating app for roofers like me....

  • I was getting in line at the DMV for license renewal but the tenant said I was in the wrong line....

  • I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?...

  • I was going to buy another stable......

  • I was going to tell y'all an economics......

  • I was going to tell you guys some jokes about lazy unemployed people....

  • I was gonna tell y'all a joke about retired people....

  • I was gonna tell y'all a joke...

  • I was helping my wife on the farm....

  • I was home all alone last night, when I heard a loud fart coming from the hall closet....

  • I was in a 80's pop-goth band called The Prevention....

  • I was in a musical group called "Blanket....

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