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  • I asked my dad if he has any life advice for me?...

  • I bought a new tin opener. It...

  • I bought a wooden whistle...

  • I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it....

  • I couldn't catch the thief on the stairs......

  • I couldn't find my belt today....

  • I created my new home out of ice chests and you know what....

  • I didn't want to install backup cameras on my car,....

  • I don't recommend using food coloring....

  • I don't trust stairs...

  • I drove the car into a giant vat......

  • I exchanged my car for a phone...

  • I figured out why the titanic submarine imploded....

  • I finally admitted to my son that I have speech disorder....

  • I found out yesterday that I am...

  • I got a bad sunburn the other day......

  • I got a belt made of watches......

  • I got fired from the bank today......

  • I got in touch with my inner self......

  • I got laid almost every day this week....

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