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  • I hooked up with a carpenter......

  • I hosted a swingers party last night....

  • I illegally downloaded a movie when I...

  • I just found out I'm colorblind!...

  • I just got a ticket for not wearing......

  • I just got kicked out of a...

  • I just learned that the ancient Egyptians outlawed beans....

  • I just met someone who specializes is...

  • I just met the first dog ever to become a professional athlete....

  • I just read about the triplet arsonists....

  • I just saw a new documentary about how the hulls of ships are built....

  • I just watched a documentary on the history of the WD-40....

  • I made a joke about 9/11 today....

  • I married a beautiful lady with a muscular disorder....

  • I meant to write a few jokes about trains earlier today....

  • I met a man for the first time, and he asked me for my name....

  • I must say I've come a long way since I first started driving ten years ago....

  • I never trust rodents with my secrets....

  • I no longer worry about plumbing problems....

  • I once ate a watch....

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