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  • I tried to drain my swimming pool, but I got stuck in the drain....

  • I tried to sneak into a monster convention......

  • I try to laugh at my optometrist's jokes,......

  • I want to be ambidextrous so badly......

  • I wanted to chase down the thieves who took half of my car's wheels....

  • I wanted to join this cult but it was very hard to get in....

  • I was accosted by this rude Greek fellow....

  • I was asked what my opinion on cheese......

  • I was at the zoo and a South American animal spit at someone!...

  • I was blowing up a balloon and accidentally let it go....

  • I was dating a girl named Ruth but I broke up with her....

  • I was doing the laundry then tripped over my wife's bra....

  • I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist....

  • I was in Hong Kong......

  • I was kidnapped by a group of mimes......

  • I was kidnapped by a troupe of mimes......

  • I was looking at a Hieronymus Bosch painting....

  • I was showing my friend a piece of......

  • I was walking around the city when I saw a man in a car, visibly angry about being stuck in trafic....

  • I went on a candy bar diet......

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