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My car is like a porn star......
My cat used a bag of rice as a scratching post....
My D&D Character got Killed......
My dad claims to have invented the cheese......
My dad said he and his friends were going to go out looking for cougars....
My daughter just came up with this one....
My daughter told me about stepping in dog poo while wearing rubber clogs....
My doctor is a D***head....
My dyslexic brother tried to rob a bank,......
My flat Earth friend set off to find......
My friend dumped an entire jar of mayonnaise on my head!...
My friend had a trophy on his shelf,......
My friend left his job as a physics teacher to become a silent artist....
My friend never believed when I told him his grandma wasn't normal until she retired and spent her life savings traveling the world collecting guano samples....
My friend was kidnapped by mimes......
My friend works on a farm, and they told me how one of the animals somehow ate C-4 explosives....
My grandfather was a terrible man....
My hands just turned into Satan....
My kids debate teacher has a habit of being rough on students and she said he ate her alive today....
My marine biology professor made good on his......
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