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  • I got a new job as a security guard....

  • I got a new page-a-day calendar for this year....

  • I got dad joked at the supermarket......

  • I got some sad news today about dwarves......

  • I got Taylor Swift's phone number!...

  • I had to break up with my girlfriend, because she couldn't stop counting....

  • I hate when people make up arbitrary percentages......

  • I have 12 close friends, so my circle of friends has ....

  • I have 19k coins to giveaway......

  • I have 6 legs, 4 arms and a 3 heads....

  • I have a joke about Wall Street finance ....

  • I have a scary joke about math....

  • I have a scary joke about maths but....

  • I have sex almost every day......

  • I heard the stock market is doing well....

  • I hired a handy man to do some work for me at home....

  • I hired a handyman and gave him a list of things to do....

  • I hired a handyman and gave him a to do list....

  • I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list....

  • I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list....

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