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I got a new job as a security guard....
I got a new page-a-day calendar for this year....
I got dad joked at the supermarket......
I got some sad news today about dwarves......
I got Taylor Swift's phone number!...
I had to break up with my girlfriend, because she couldn't stop counting....
I hate when people make up arbitrary percentages......
I have 12 close friends, so my circle of friends has ....
I have 19k coins to giveaway......
I have 6 legs, 4 arms and a 3 heads....
I have a joke about Wall Street finance ....
I have a scary joke about math....
I have a scary joke about maths but....
I have sex almost every day......
I heard the stock market is doing well....
I hired a handy man to do some work for me at home....
I hired a handyman and gave him a list of things to do....
I hired a handyman and gave him a to do list....
I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list....
I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list....
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