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  • I love places with an optional service charge......

  • I managed to get a job in archaeology when i was released from prison....

  • I met a guy in a wheelchair once and he told me he was sad because he couldnt do anything he wanted....

  • I met a magician yesterday......

  • I met a man for the first time, and he asked me for my name....

  • I met my new Japanese neighbor today, but i he doesn't speak english....

  • I met someone who used to be an admiral....

  • I moved to Kansas but didn't see any pirates....

  • I nearly got a tattoo of my life motto the other day....

  • I need some chess puns......

  • I need to select the right medicine for this allergic reaction....

  • I never leave my message half unread, I always make sure that I don't close my phone until I've....

  • I never tell dad jokes......

  • I never understood why the French specify it as Waterloo?...

  • I noticed 50 cent has put a bit of weight on recently....

  • I once asked dad the difference between confident......

  • I once came across an article jus to realize....

  • I once dated a partially deaf girl who was utterly disappointed the first time we were intimate....

  • I once got to talk about one of my favorite book mini-series' about a haunted hotel!...

  • I once heard the tale of a woman who was part anteater....

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