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My grandfather was always terrible until I had......
My grandma took up jogging 5 miles...
My guitar and I are not on speaking terms....
My guitar wasn't working right so I showed......
My house was making so many weird noises I ended up taking it to court....
My Hungarian friend really hates bugs......
My IQ test results came back....
My Jewish cousin started a coffee shop and he gave it a unique name....
My kid accidentally fell asleep yesterday on a bunch of jigsaw tiles....
My kid gave me a "traffic ticket" today......
My kids asked for a salt lamp....
My kids eat so many apples......
My kids got their good looks from me....
My kids like to eat snacks they find on the floor....
My kids started experiencing mental breakdowns after I told them a series of my latest dad jokes....
My kids were picking out just the green ones from a mixed olive jar....
My kids were surprised to find out that my favorite song was actually Pretty Fly....
My landlady threatened to evict the tenant with......
My landscaper was running late, he was supposed to aerate the lawn this morning....
My late cousin became famous after people saw videos of him choking on Arabic chickpea dip....
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