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  • My girlfriend died in a freak elevator accident....

  • My girlfriend just replaced a light bulb in the living room by herself....

  • My girlfriend thinks she is very smart and says that onions are the only vegetables which make you cry....

  • My girlfriend told me my shoes were on......

  • My grandfather just kicked the bucket....

  • My grandfather was always terrible until I had......

  • My grandma took up jogging 5 miles...

  • My guitar and I are not on speaking terms....

  • My guitar wasn't working right so I showed......

  • My house was making so many weird noises I ended up taking it to court....

  • My Hungarian friend really hates bugs......

  • My IQ test results came back....

  • My Jewish cousin started a coffee shop and he gave it a unique name....

  • My kid accidentally fell asleep yesterday on a bunch of jigsaw tiles....

  • My kid gave me a "traffic ticket" today......

  • My kids and I were having a great time rummaging through my late grandfather's prized possessions....

  • My kids asked for a salt lamp....

  • My kids eat so many apples......

  • My kids got their good looks from me....

  • My kids like to eat snacks they find on the floor....

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