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  • I took my friend to see the world's biggest fan for his birthday....

  • I took my girlfriend to see Disney on......

  • I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood and looked at it for 30 minutes....

  • I took my wife to see Cher, and her opening act was a Cher impersonator....

  • I took only my son to the local town fair, but not my daughter....

  • I took the opportunity to make a dad joke at the expense of my nephew's recent height increase....

  • I took up reading and read 7 chapters today....

  • I took viagra last night......

  • I totally nailed this one today......

  • I Touched The Thermostat......

  • I treasure my fingers....

  • I tricked a tree the other day......

  • I tried a new web browser today......

  • I tried computer dating once....

  • I tried cooking for the first time and it was much easier than I thought....

  • I tried explaining to my 4 year old......

  • I tried marrying fruit....

  • I tried my best pickup line on a girl at the bar, but she just rolled her eyes at me....

  • I tried my pickup on a cute girl at the bar, she just rolled her eyes at me....

  • I tried opening a jar of mustard when the cap suddenly came off and it went everywhere....

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