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  • I couldn't find my belt today....

  • I couldn't find my underwear this morning....

  • I couldn't resist......

  • I decided to tell a joke on a mountaintop....

  • I don't always Whoop, but when I do....

  • I don't have a Dad Bod......

  • I don't like 25,8069758...

  • I don't like jokes about circles or spheres....

  • I don't like working as an elevator operator......

  • I don't mind being circumcised....

  • I don't really believe in psychoanalysis......

  • I don't recommend using food coloring....

  • I don't tell Dad jokes often,......

  • I don't trust caricature artists....

  • I don't trust stairs...

  • I donate 25 percent of my paycheck to......

  • I dropped a vacuum cleaner down a deep hole with water in it....

  • I entered a palindrome contest....

  • I exchanged my car for a phone...

  • I explained to my three year old how to tie a knot....

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