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I've noticed something about impatient people....
I've offered my elderly neighbour $20 to...
I've pissed my pants in North and South America, shit my britches in Africa and Europe, didn't make it on time in Asia, involuntary brown thunder while I was Down Under, and couldn't hold it in on a cruise to Antarctica....
I've read that clothing manufacturers are going to start making swimsuits for animals....
I've received mail from my old school teachers!...
I've recently started using Greggs branded moisturizer......
I've removed all the black keys from my piano....
I've run out of toilet paper and started using old newspapers....
I've said it before, and I'll say it again....
I've seen a lot of birthday thieves....
I've seen a lot of things in my time....
I've seen more and more of those large round bales of hay in farmers' fields lately....
I've set up a homeless charity called Supertramp....
I've signed up for prophecy classes....
I've spent the entire day hanging pictures in my son's room, but all he does is watch!...
I've spent the last 25 years of my life as a professional trophy maker....
I've started a buisness of selling landmines disguised......
I've started a business building yachts in my attic....
I've started a disco band with my friends at the boutique quilt factory....
I've started a new band called "Blanket"....
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