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  • If ever attacked by a mob of clowns,......

  • If fests can be festivals and spects can be spectacles....

  • If fish had a civilication, how would their announcrment to us get called?...

  • If french fries aren't cooked in France,...

  • If General Cinema is in charge who is second in command?...

  • If grand pianos are made of mahogany, what are baby grand pianos made of ?...

  • If guys who smuggle drugs are called mules......

  • If horses could invest in real estate....

  • If I am addicted to masturbation, but it turns into a sex addiction....

  • If I bake bacon, then....

  • If I cut the grass back and forth but do a lousy job....

  • If I ever get a large area of land....

  • If I ever win the lottery, i am going to buy AT LEAST 50 condos, 1 in each state....

  • If I ever won a gold medal at the Olympics....

  • If I founded a nation.....

  • If I got a job installing billboards I wouldn't tell anyone but....

  • If I had a dollar for everytime I was called a racist....

  • If I had a dollar from all the women that didn't find me attractive....

  • If I had a nickel for every time......

  • If I had an actual brick for every brick joke I heard recently....

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