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  • I lost my left arm in an accident......

  • I lost my wife's wedding ring....

  • I love going outdoors...

  • I love watching bench press competitions!...

  • I lowered my sons crib today....

  • I made a joke about 9/11 today....

  • I made a wall from phones that...

  • I made my gf an honorary father,...

  • I make a living out of sandwich...

  • I managed to escape Neverland Ranch by taking refuge in a nearby Catholic church....

  • I met a civil engineer named Robert...

  • I met a man for the first time, and he asked me for my name....

  • I met Drew Carey once and asked...

  • I met Hannibal Lecter's brother this week, and learned he is even more sadistic....

  • I miss his funny jokes....

  • I mixed up the words Jakuzzi and Yakuza......

  • I must say I've come a long way since I first started driving ten years ago....

  • I need jokes about food......

  • I never finish anything....

  • I never have enough money to play...

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