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  • I've just discovered that one in four ornamental......

  • I've just invented the first thought controlled air freshener....

  • I've just learned that there's a tendency in certain parts of south Asia, among those with power or influence, to favour people from the same Himalayan country, especially by giving them jobs....

  • I've just released my own fragrance....

  • I've just released my own personalised fragrance......

  • I've just started a business recycling chewing gum......

  • I've made it onto the CIA watchlist....

  • I've nearly got my job back at the......

  • I've only now realized tofu is overrated......

  • I've recently started using Greggs branded moisturizer......

  • I've run out of teabags....

  • I've run out of toilet paper and started using old newspapers....

  • I've trained my dog to sniff out harmful viruses and bacteria....

  • If girls can be flowers, what would they be?...

  • If seagulls fly over the sea, what kind of birds fly over the bay?...

  • If smoking weed is a sin....

  • If there is such a thing as Chocolate....

  • If you call your girlfriend Boo, what do you call her when she does something bad?...

  • If you have rectal problems....

  • If you throw a tomato at someone, is it assault?...

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