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  • I'm on the bus to work, it's packed, and it smells like someone's shit in their pants....

  • I'm so happy - a spontaneous dad joke that I told to my 3yr old today made a total stranger, who was walking about 10ft in front of us, turn round and give a knowing smile!...

  • I'm so quality, you'd think you're sipping on eucalyptus....

  • I'm thinking about getting into politics, but I don't have any name recognition....

  • I'm thinking of making a soft rock band......

  • I'm trying to become a tea connoisseur......

  • I'm trying to find a place to sleep after my wife kicked me out of bed....

  • I'm writing a book on hurricanes......

  • I've added chocolate syrup to my wife's cosmetics......

  • I've always wanted a herb garden......

  • I've been doing tests on a new refreshing flavor of gum....

  • I've been having a lot of excess lint......

  • I've been trying to buy a pancake pan......

  • I've been trying to savor the taste of......

  • I've been waiting years for this:...

  • I've decided to have my girlfriend nickname me......

  • I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree....

  • I've finally perfected my broth recipe......

  • I've got a new aftershave that smells of......

  • I've got some good news and I've got......

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