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  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza....

  • I call my wife "Snickers"......

  • I can't believe that there's people out there who don't like pickles....

  • I could tell a joke about pizza......

  • I devoured an entire wheel of Swiss cheese today....

  • I don't do cocaine....

  • I don't like souvlaki......

  • I don't trust banks......

  • I doubt this will get much attention, due to the limited target audience, but it did make my wife groan....

  • I gave fly fishing a shot once....

  • I got a diarrhea after eating alphabet soup......

  • I got sick after eating bad horse meat......

  • I got tazed yesterday....

  • I had a bad sandwich the other day....

  • I hate vacuum cleaners......

  • I have celiac disease but I can't stop eating bread!...

  • I have rather severe tinitus......

  • I just lost my favourite Harry Potter wand......

  • I just told my wife we are like peanut butter and honey....

  • I like all the the letters in the......

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