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  • I like most foods,......

  • I like my women the way I like......

  • I like the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and John....

  • I make a living out of sandwich...

  • I must have used bad eggs in my omelette....

  • I never understood Antifa....

  • I read an article the other day about a four-year-old boy who couldn't even say 'please' in Spanish....

  • I squirted ketchup in my eyes the other day....

  • I think I'm allergic to certain types of nuts they make me sneeze....

  • I thought about becoming vegetarian....

  • I took a tour of a defunct candy factory, but it smelled more like chocolate....

  • I took some ayahuasca at Jiffy Lube...

  • I tried marrying fruit....

  • I tried reading 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey'....

  • I tried snorting Coke......

  • I tried to remember what I always order for dessert at the Italian restaurant....

  • I used to be addicted to soap...

  • I used to hate facial hair......

  • I was going to tell a joke about pastries and baked goods but....

  • I was Jewish, but gave that up....

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