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If you clean out a vacuum cleaner,......
If you die of a yeast infection,...
If you ever have surgery on your vocal cords, you won't be able to speak for a while....
If you face planted....
If you hate musical puns . ....
If you have a Mexican mom, tell her "palabra"....
If you have any Spanish speaking friends, make sure to to tell them "musica" often....
If you haven't seen House, you should....
If you need a job, try Search and Rescue....
If you need something sold, come see me......
If you think today, Thursday is depressing....
If you want to be fruitful and multiply....
If you want to change the world, do it while you're single....
If you write a second book about electric bicycles....
If you're ever attacked by a group of......
If you're ever stuck on an island make......
If you're ever thinking about making a belt out of old watches, don't....
If you're feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed....
If you're feeling lonely......
If you're going to tell jokes about eyes,......
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