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  • I set a personal record today!...

  • I should be on HGTV with my DIY tips like....

  • I should have dealt with my obsession with reducing fractions a long time ago....

  • I should put a led poisoning warning on......

  • I showed my dyslexic friend a list of words, I pointed to the word Paradoxical and I asked:...

  • I son just asked me if I'm really his dad....

  • I spend the entire weekend making a belt out of my old watches....

  • I started a lending company that uses food as collateral....

  • I started a poetry club in prison......

  • I started a subreddit for conceited horses....

  • I started a support group for dads living with wives who talk too much....

  • I started a support group for men with premature ejaculation....

  • I started having conversations with my food....

  • I started investing in stocks....

  • I started teaching a class on musical theory to senior citizens....

  • I started telling everybody about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

  • I started watching "How to Make a Salad"......

  • I started watching a new TV drama with Idris Elba yesterday....

  • I stayed up all night and tried to......

  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went....

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