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  • I just started my African grasslands tour!...

  • I keep getting the eerie feeling I'm...

  • I keep trying to make a funny joke......

  • I kept forgetting where I left my shoes......

  • I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas....

  • I know a dwarf-like busker who plays precise marches down in the subway....

  • I know this is a controversial subject....

  • I laugh at the most inappropriate times....

  • I left adderall in my Ford Fiesta......

  • I left my car at the pub and took the bus home....

  • I left my Jeep parked in a river,......

  • I lied and said that I never carry my cell phone when I'm hiking around the cliff....

  • I like my women like I like a......

  • I like my women like I like my favorite flyover states....

  • I like to work out by lifting up homes next to the ocean....

  • I listed my bike for sale and some......

  • I live in a weird city FILLED with funny dads, apparently....

  • I lost my ticket and so I wasn't allowed to get on any train leaving my local station until I could show them my hair was made to be fully covered in tight, neat curls....

  • I love going outdoors...

  • I love palindromes!...

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