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I took my dog to vet after he ate an entire bag of Scrabble tiles....
I took my dog, Samuel Akita, to the vet....
I took my Great Pyrenees to the vet and found out she ruptured both her cruciate ligaments....
I took my sons to the pond earlier......
I took the dogs on a walk yesterday....
I totally misunderstood the meaning behind Pride Month....
I trained my dog to fetch a glass of red wine....
I trained my dog to fetch beer......
I tried archery, but I lost the one arrow I had after a single shot....
I tried asking a zombie reanimator out on......
I tried donating blood today....
I tried farming for Reddit Gold today......
I tried milking a cow but he ran......
I tried to help Humpty Dumpty after he fell, but all he did was criticize my every move....
I tried to persistence hunt a cougar the......
I tried to play frisbee with my...
I tried to take my defective boomerang back......
I tried Wookiee meat the other day....
I turned to my wife and asked if it would be okay for me to tell dad jokes in bed....
I use to call my ex "Trichina....
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