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  • I inherited a magic device that floats in the sky and weaves magic carpets....

  • I instilled a full 90 seconds of groaning in my friend....

  • I invented a pen that wrights under water......

  • I just bought a dog from a blacksmith......

  • I just bought a Humpty Dumpty toy...

  • I just cut a new pattern in the lawn....

  • I just finished reading "The Irish Decorator"......

  • I just found a reel showing how people with cataracts see the world....

  • I just got a tattoo on my left butt cheek....

  • I just got outbid on an expensive, original Monet painting....

  • I just had some Japanese cartoons tattooed on my legs....

  • I just learned how the pawn moves in chess....

  • I just learned lots of people like wrapping......

  • I just made a realization today:...

  • I just made a rollercoaster to wake people up, the name of said coaster is:...

  • I just ranked all the classical music composers......

  • I just watched the movie "Black Swan" and......

  • I just won an award for my work designing tattoos of various felines, but for some reason it came in the shape of cow teats....

  • I knew my date misunderstood me when we arrived at the museum....

  • I like jokes from old Shakespearen plays......

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