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  • I never wanted a beard......

  • I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker....

  • I nicknamed a coworker foreskin......

  • I nicknamed my girlfriend Honeydew......

  • I no speak good english, my friend say......

  • I noticed a small mole on my arm......

  • I noticed my wife has been sitting on......

  • I often reminisce about the amazing boobs I got to grow up around - from the sitter to my 8th grade science teacher, and even my old neighbor, Mrs....

  • I Once Almost Dated a Psychic Girl!...

  • I once asked my father why he...

  • I once ate an entire rope....

  • I once broke up with a blind girl......

  • I once claimed to be the best masseuse around....

  • I once clenched my ass to hold a......

  • I once dated a magazine collector......

  • I once dated a partially deaf girl who was utterly disappointed the first time we were intimate....

  • I once dated a transmission mechanic....

  • I once dreamt that I was an oil field....

  • I once got my hand smashed in a......

  • I once had a job where I had to fill a giant helium balloon, but....

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