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I played a prank on My friend the other day by taking all the lamps in his house....
I played our wedding video backward yesterday....
I prefer to fly to Taiwan whenever I feel like snacking....
I promised my wife I would try not to get too excited when we went to the nude beach....
I pronounce hyperbole as hyper-bowl......
I proposed to my girlfriend in a vacuum......
I put bad rainbows in a prism......
I quit my job as an underwater diver....
I quit my job at the helium factory today....
I quit my job at the helium gas......
I quit my terrible job at the candy store....
I quite like my Christmas Tree this year....
I ran over a fat guy with my car once....
I ran to my father and asked him if he could describe a solar eclipse....
I rarely find cocaine jokes funny....
i rarely tell dad jokes....
I read an article the other day about a four-year-old boy who couldn't even say 'please' in Spanish....
I read in the news everyone is constipated!...
I realized it's out of my control....
I really do love my Stepladder......
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