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  • I got in touch with my inner self......

  • I got kicked out of drama class...

  • I got laid almost every day this week....

  • I got on a moving staircase and was......

  • I got rejected today because she "can't date anyone from the office....

  • I got tazed yesterday....

  • I grew up in a rough neighborhood....

  • I had a bad sandwich the other day....

  • I had a colectomy;...

  • I had a happy childhood, my dad used to roll me down hills in tyres....

  • I had a hard time in Mexico tracking down a male person of color with a surname of Jackson who just got discharged from the hospital....

  • I had a joke about a tyre......

  • I had forgotten my joke about a...

  • I had the craziest dream that I was an F5 function key....

  • I had to break up with my console today....

  • I had to dump my cross-eyed girlfriend....

  • I hate AD blockers......

  • I hate all these Titanic jokes....

  • I hate average men......

  • I hate buying a ton of supplies at IKEA....

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