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  • I told a joke about a chair with......

  • I told a joke about Night Vision to a Navy Seal....

  • I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps....

  • I told my doctor I was going deaf......

  • I told my doctor, I had a nightmare......

  • I told my therapist I can't get the Grease soundtrack out of my head....

  • I told my wife I was pretty angry about the low number of toads in my life....

  • I told this attractive woman that I thought she was beautiful and she called me a sexist....

  • I told this joke the day before my......

  • I took my daughter's hamster to the vet......

  • I took my dog, Samuel Akita, to the vet....

  • I took my family on a road trip......

  • I tried dating a defensive lineman....

  • I tried snorting Coke......

  • I tried to catch some fog yesterday,...

  • I tried to catch the fog the other......

  • I tried to explain to my four-year-old...

  • I tried to get into a relationship with an invisible person....

  • I tried to give the police a description......

  • I tried to make a timely joke about......

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