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I refuse to swarm around to the news......
I said to my buddy, "My girlfriend...
I saw a pig making fun a hippo for rolling in mud....
I saw two months doing the dirty the other night....
I slept like a baby last night....
I spent a week in the hospital after nearly dying of a heart attack....
I started talking about Roy Rogers horse...
I started to write a great Dad Joke about being Scandinavian....
I started watching a new TV drama with Idris Elba yesterday....
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went....
I suffer from kleptomania....
I swallowed a watch yesterday......
I think I said something wrong to the skid marks in my toilet, they're nowhere to be seen....
I think I'm allergic to certain types of nuts they make me sneeze....
I think that it's my dog's time of......
I thought about becoming vegetarian....
I thought my chiropractor is a fraud and......
I Thought of a joke about 9/11...
I threw a letter into a wishing well......
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams....
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