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  • I turned 33 years old today....

  • I use my smart phone for when...

  • I used to be a people person....

  • I used to be a safe driver......

  • I used to file my nails......

  • I used to hate body hair......

  • I used to hate facial hair......

  • I usually don't tell Dad jokes....

  • I walked into a bar......

  • I walked into a French bakery and I......

  • I walked into McDonald's the other day and......

  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep,......

  • I wanted to buy some camo pants......

  • I wanted to get an estimate for...

  • I wanted to hire a prostitute but it......

  • I wanted to know what my future dad jokes would be like....

  • I wanted to make a 9/11 joke...

  • I wanted to tell a joke about...

  • I was asked why I wanted to be cremated, rather then buried....

  • I was at the library when I...

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